Selling...We All Are Doing It...We Just Don't Know It

Selling...We All Are Doing It...We Just Don't Know It
Copyright © Scott Bradley

Whether you know it or not, everything in life is selling.
Let me explain...

When you are taking time looking for a job...talking with recruiters from companies...handing out your resume and business cards...you are selling YOURSELF...whether they take you or not...is out of your control.

When you are taking time looking for a date, or are dating for that matter...You are selling yourself to the other person to show them who you are, so hopefully it will lead to a relationship down the road...whether they take you or not...is out of your control.

When you are selling a particular good/service, showing others why it fills the need or want they have...you are selling that good/service...whether they take it or not...is out of your control.

When parenting...you are selling to your children the beliefs and values you feel they should live by as they get older...whether they adopt them or not...is out of your control.

If you are a baseball player, or any athlete for that matter...out on the athletic field, you are selling to the recruiters looking to recruit you to their team, as well as to the parents and fans in the stands that you are the best thing since sliced bread while having fun doing it...whether they (recruit you/like you) or not...is out of your control.

Ok...So you get the idea…Everything in life is SELLING!

What I find so comical about the word "Selling" is that most people connect negative words and emotions with the word and craft...but what is funny is that we are all "selling" in one way or another.

The only difference between selling "something" and selling in the "Other context” is one thing...YOU...You are the good/product/service/person that is being sold…and you have 100% control over it…based on your BRAND that you PORTRAY.

With the business I am in...I approach selling just like the scenarios above...I attract the prospects to me...show them the information...let them digest the information and form the thoughts about it...whatever they may be...and then I collect a decision...I don't look to convince them that it is for them or not...Because in the end...whether they take it or not...is truly out of my control.

I only want to be dealing with people who want to buy or work with me...why should I waste my time with those I have to continually convince?...I would drive myself crazy!

Most people believe that selling is a high-pressure, unethical, sleazy profession, when in reality it is nothing more than a relationship with a product involved. That product can either be YOU...or something that you are distributing. Since the most important part to the selling equation is the relationship...having a positive BRAND...is essential. Your brand is your credibility worn on your shoulder. If you haven't already done so, I would highly recommend that you read my post, "What's Your Brand Say?"

For me...when looking at forming relationships with people...I always tell people..."I like networking with other like minded individuals who love entrepreneurship, and who love to have a good time." By saying that it is attracting those types of people to me...and those that aren't I don't worry about.

I like to live by a quote that puts this idea into words. "You can take me or leave me...either way I am going to continually do what I do and be who I am...If you want to spend time with me great, and if not...no problem at all...in any event I am still going to be who I am."

I can't tell you the countless number of people who are trying to convince other people to like them. This is seen in friendships, relationships, and business everywhere! People think that they can convince someone to like them, and further convince someone to buy something from them.

If you have to convince someone that you are worth spending time with, or further try to convince someone they need what you are selling...get this...YOU ARE DEALING WITH THE WRONG PEOPLE!!! That’s It! Let those people go, and find people who are worth spending time with.

If you are in business find those who want what you are selling...or further find those individuals that you can relate with to further build lifelong relationships with...When you have that synergy going...it makes it more fun!

Imagine yourself as a "Professional Sorter" rather than a "Professional Convincer." We are always sorting no matter where we are going. In selling yourself, or a good/service...it is no different.

When talking about being a professional sorter…I like to give this analogy...When talking with girls at a party I can tell within the first 5 minutes if they are worth my time or not, just by the way they speak and carry themselves...the same can be said for people that I come across in business. Be a professional sorter, not a professional convincer!

Before I close this up I have a story I would like to share.
My freshmen year in college I really liked this girl...for the sake of confidentiality I will keep her name anonymous. I was introduced to this girl by a friend that I met during the first semester. Man...I fell for this girl hard and fast. I did everything I could to make her like me...Gifts...Cards...Poems...the whole nine yards...No matter what I did I just kept beating myself up over and over again wondering why she would not like me...
What I never realized was I was not "Attracting" her to me, but rather pushing her away because I had the words "DESPERATE" plastered on my forehead.
When I came to this realization I am like..."No wonder Scott...you were hitting the desperate button, trying to convince her to like you...when in the end you had no control over her liking you or not...you should have stopped way before the poem."

So the moral of that story is...Don't be DESPERATE if you are selling yourself or a product/service...It is not worth beating your head against the wall trying to convince people to like you or buy from you...When you get a “No”...regroup and find others who are worth your time...

Most of this stuff I learned from my mentors but two more things I would like to share before wrapping this up is…
1)You can’t make everyone love you…eg Look at any major politician, or revolutionary for that matter.

2) You have to act like you don’t need them, even though you really want them…Portray a non-desperate approach, looking to attract them to you…it is truly an art and takes practice. Look to attract people to you using what my mentor calls “Rejection Free Methods”.

So to sum it up…some words of advice to help you in your "Selling Adventures"
1) Only deal with people who want to deal with you.

2) Be true to yourself, don't feel like you have to convince people to like you...put yourself in the place to attract them to you by BEING YOU

3) When it comes to relationships and dating find someone that wants to spend time with you. If you have to keep convincing them they are worth your time, you will go crazy...

4) Don't be DESPERATE!!! The more desperate you are, the more you will push people away from you.

5) Believe that you are worth spending time with. Feel it, see it, know it…Believe that you don’t have to convince people to like you and that you will naturally attract people to you who have the same interests…trust me…it is more fun that way.

6) You can’t make everyone love you.

7) You have to act like you don’t need them, even though you really want them.

Have an awesome day!
Scott Bradley

I Have Moved My Blog To Wordpress.
I will no longer be posting to this blog.
Click http://www.NetworkingEffectively.com to visit the new blog


Alex Lindahl & Miles Lennon said...

I also view sales in a similar way. I like to call it "positioning" yourself. One of the most important things in sales is to get the person to trust you. The easiest way of doing this is just spending time talking to them and trying to find common interests. If you can find a common interest, they will get a much better sense of who you are. The more they understand you, the better your chances are. When I sell painting jobs, the majority of the time I just talk to them about other things not related to painting. I also feel you have to be straight up with people and very honest. Most likely, they will return the favor to you.

In general, I feel that focusing on forming a relationship is more important than actually selling the product.

David Mullings said...

I agree with much of your post. From a relationship standpoint, having just been married for 1 and a half weeks now....I can safely speak to the benefits of NOT coming across as desperate.

I was an anal sorter when it came to girls, not just a professional - I really treated it like a science in identifying the qualities I needed in the best candidate - and now I am extremely happy and she works with me in my company part-time as well because she wants to help.

As for business - Sales is the most important skill any person in business requires (I agree with Rich Dad on that).

Your 7 points at the end are true but I do disagree that you have no control over what happens. You can in fact have some control - it depends on how good you are at manipulation.

I spent quite some time studying people and how they think. My wife loves to point out how well I can predict people's actions and wonders how I do it - YEARS of observation and reading.

Manipulating isn't automatically a negative thing - marketing often tries to manipulate people to purchase items they don't need and never even knew they wanted.

Just like sales, it can be positive as well - it's all about the person using it.

Jean Jennings said...

Thanks Scott;
It is good to reminded of the qualities we have and forget to use, our own self worth. WE are special and important, and we are truly doings others favors when we ask them or allow them into our space. You are so right about always selling ourselves, we do that everyday even with out realizing it. So, thank you again, this was right on time!!!!

Shopautodotca Seocontest said...

So i have been a salesmen all these years..lol

Scott Bradley said...


You are welcome!
I appreciate the comment!

Have a great day!